one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him
It’s not weird only because it’s always sandwiched between people telling me how much they hate me or how bald I’m getting. The compliments are like chocolate-covered pretzels, except instead of chocolate the pretzels are covered in poison, and also the pretzels are pretty flimsy because, like, you don’t even KNOW me, pretzel, how could you be in love? You’re a silly pretzel and you’re coated with poison, get out of here.
Literally me at every doctor’s visit I’ve ever had.
you are having some friends over for dinner. you ask your vampire friend if they want some garlic bread but they just make a weird hissing noise and scoot their chair over. your spirit friend says their food tastes rather plain but when you offer them some salt they just fall silent. your werewolf friend cannot pick up their silverware and resorts to sticking their face in their food. everything is awkward. for everyone. so far this dinner party is not going well at all
Fox News headlines v. real headlines, part 2425183.
The brunette part is really important.
Fun fact, our hair color reveals our place in pansexual society. Blondes are our record keepers. The great librarians, they collect, analyze, store, and distribute information to the rest of us. They are blonde because they reflect the light of knowledge. Those with Black Hair are our inventors. They investigate, produce, and teach new technologies so that we may thrive in future times. Their hair is black because of their frequent dives into the void of the unknown. Burnettes are our ambassadors. They interact with people, plants, and animals, forging bonds that can protect us when we are threatened. Their hair is brown because of their deep connection to the earth.
And as for redheads.
You don’t want to know the purpose of the Red Heads. But may their hellfire consume our enemies.
A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN